The Rinse Cycle

Today, I did my laundry. Yes, I threw my large bag o' clothes over my shoulder and walked a block to the laundromat. What a strange place, the laundromat. I would like to think of it as an invasion of privacy. You stuff all of your dirty clothes into a bag, that have been touching you oh so intimately, and bring them to a public place. Once you're there you stuff them into a machine that washes them where everyone else's dirty intimate clothing has been. Plus, you get to see what everyone else has brought in that day! How exciting, its like show and tell! The laundromat is sometimes crowded, with people all up in your space with huge bags that they must have collected from every person in Harlem, or the city of New York for that matter. When they have finally dried all of this laundry, they find it necessary to fold it all on every available table in the place. Somehow I always manage to loose my clothing when making the transfer from washer to dryer, leaving a trail of underwear and socks behind me. Little Hispanic men follow the trail and meet me at the dryer with arms extended, graciously handing over my intimate belongings. As I stuff the clothes into the dryer I feel the need to throw them in as fast as I can, for fear of someone else viewing my forever stained underwear. 

The television by the washer blasts an Indiana Jones movie, while the one by the dryer is blasting a Spanish soap opera. I decided to go and sit by the washers. At least here I can stare at Harrison Ford, and zone off into the rinse cycle. When the time came to add another quarter to the machine, I decided to be productive and read my book. I noticed a man with dreads and leathery skin leaning against a folding table staring in my direction. "Oh crap, he's coming over here." He rolled his cart of clothes over in my direction and parked it next to my chair, where I was sitting so peacefully. "Hello there. What are you reading? How many pages is that? Wow, that must have taken you a long time to read! I could never do that!" 

This is the other moment I must comment on about a laundromat. Can I not do laundry in peace? I do not want to be social with strangers while I'm washing my underwear and I do not want to be hit on while I'm sitting next to yours! I just sat there pretending to read and nodded my head, so as to not look completely rude, but still rude enough so he would get the point. 

He finally left, but when he saw me he kept referring to me as "Hey, reader..." 

I can understand being social at the grocery store, a coffee shop, restaurant, any place that you might have a conversation about the atmosphere or the food you are consuming, but the laundromat? No, do not talk to me. I came here to do this alone and without judgement. I do not want to be judged when I'm folding my granny panties that I only wear when everything else is dirty, ok. I do not want to be judged when I decide to use 5 caps of laundry detergent instead of one, just to make sure my clothes are EXTRA clean. I do not want to be judged when I throw in 20 dryer sheets. I do not want to be judged if I decide I want to play the race car game sitting vacant and calling my name. 

When my clothes are finished drying, you better believe that I throw those clothes into my bag and run out the door, leaving a trail behind me.

Young and FREE

Yeah, I'm free...

 

It seems that when you are young, there is a sign on your forehead that screams "USE ME FOR FREE!" When I say young I guess I mean ages 21-30. This term free seems to apply when one is in college or just out of college. One is required to work and have a career and make money to survive. Yet, those who want to hire you, only offer and expect you to work for free? I am confused. I thought that work meant money. Apparently the terms intern, apprentice, and exchange are words used for the recent college graduate. I graduated 2 years ago and I am still living with those words. Maybe if I was older and "wiser" I wouldn't agree to choose jobs with those words attached to them, but then that other word pops into the equation: Experience. If one does not take these apprentice jobs, then one cannot gain experience and if one does not have experience then one will never get jobs that do pay money, MONEY! Something else that confuses me is the idea that "club dancer" is looked down on, because that is apparently the only way one could make money by doing free work all day. Once can most certainly be a slave (a.k.a waiter) at least that is still considered a respectable job. How else does one survive in order to gain this experience you ask? Listed below are a few things that I and others have found helpful:

1. Take a boring desk job so that you can have free internet and a phone to do YOUR business

2. Scrounge up loose change that has been hiding for the past 4 years from college (when you didn't care) Examples would be: bottom of purses, in pants, laundry basket, refrigerator, cabinets, mattress, behind bed, closet, other people's pants, etc.. you get the idea.

3. Make a card board sign that says "Hungry, poor, and out of college. Please help feed me, maybe buy me a drink?"

4. Date rich people

5. Eat ramen

6. Steal someone's identity (don't really recommend this).

7. Ride a bike

8. Thrift stores for your clothing, or have a clothe swapping party with your friends. Highly recommend making sure you are all the same size. You don't want to have to wear Rhonda's fat pants.

9. COSCO: Go in with your friends and claim yourself as a family to get a discount

10. Bribe your family for money. 

Sub Talk

I have found that living in the city has made me more of a people watcher. From birth I was always a people watcher and growing up continually imitated those around me. I guess you could say its in my family. Growing up after dinner, my family and I would sit around the living room and play a game called imitations, or impressions. Imitations involved impersonating someone you knew and everyone had to guess who it was. Now these were not to mock or be mean, but simply to have a good laugh. We would imitate each other and most of the time someone would get upset. It was mostly my sister who would sit and pout after me or my brother would imitate her mad pouty face, just to see her do it, and it always worked. Everyone has to admit that watching people is some of the greatest entertainment there is. I mean this is why SNL is so popular and stand up comedy, because they are making fun of people! In my opinion what makes situations laughable is the fact that most people are oblivious to the fact that they are ridiculous....

The Subway is set up to where you have to face each other while taking your commute to wherever it is you must go. So you get on the train and sit down where you can. Once you're there you must acquaint yourself to those around you. I don't mean introduce yourself or say hi or make eye contact, but I do mean that once you've been sitting there for a while you get bored and when someone new enters the train... well you MUST see who they are. Even if you don't care (I don't) it is still human nature, I believe, to be curious about your surroundings. With that said, once you're sitting there eventually you and the person across from you make eye contact for a second. It can be awkward if you let it...

1. Sometimes the person will look away quickly as to pretend they did not see you looking at them.

2. Sometimes the person will just keep staring as if you do not see them staring AT you.

3. Sometimes the person will lean over and read what you are reading.

4. Sometimes the person will stare at your shoes as if you have the most interesting shoes on (even if they are nasty tennis shoes you've had for 10 years.

5. Sometimes the person will close their eyes as to not make any sort of contact what so ever.

6. Sometimes the person will sit on top of you (in most cases because they are too fat for the seat).

7. Sometimes the person will take up the entire row of seats with their belongings (or fat butt) so that you cannot sit there.

8. Sometimes the person will move far away to another seat as if you smell.

9. Sometimes the person will have their ipod on so loud that you can hear every beat and lyrics to a rap song about someone else's ass.

10. Sometimes the person will look around at every possible thing and person on the train and make you feel so uncomfortable that you begin to follow their eyes to see what is so damn interesting.

Coffee and Apples?

So here is the new scoop on Mr. Monroe...

Poor guy just wants to do some apple pickin'. My manager told me he came into the cafe the other day and they began chatting. She explained to him that she is leaving the store to do some not for profit work and introduced him to the new manager. "Well, he has some tall shoes to fill!" He managed to shout. This was all agreed upon and then he said, "Does he like apples?" I guess that is the criteria that must be met in order for Monroe to order a cup of coffee: ONE MUST LIKE APPLES TO SERVE ME COFFEE. 

Oh Monroe, how I love your apples.