Things are a changin'

I think there comes a point in one's life where you wake up and realize that everything you've work so hard for all of your life, is no longer as important as you thought it was. Decisions and goals change. Life brings moments and people into your life that you'd rather spend your energy on. This does not mean that you cannot still persue goals and dreams. It's just that they change. 

Personally, I am such an advocate for change. Growing up I would rearrange my room because I needed a change. I would move my bed across the room to face a different direction and sometimes I would repaint the walls. If I was feeling really belligerent, I would persuade my sister that she wanted my room and we would switch rooms. One time I even convinced my parents to switch rooms with me, yes it worked! So, I need change in my life and I embrace it with open arms. I even need to change my hair every 3, 4 months. (It's time now, yes.) I know that a change is needed when I look at my hair and say, "This needs to go!"

Today I had an opportunity to go to an audition. This company is huge in modern dance and I know the company well. I taught Pilates for their summer intensive, learned choreography, and graveled at their feet (well sort of). My predicament arose, however, with the "what if" factor. What if I made the audition and was asked to dance in the company? Of course I would do it! Yes, yes, yes! However, I have been making plans to move, signed an apartment lease, and got into another dance company in Chicago. What if I made it? Then all of those plans would fly out the window and I'd travel the world (not so bad I know). However, my other "What if" was, I am in love with a man in Chicago. If I got the audition, that would mean another year without him. I could not do that. I made the choice to move in with my boyfriend in Chicago, begin a life, and explore it together. Together! What is wrong with that? My third wave feminist mind says, "Don't move for a guy. Don't commit right now. Be strong and suck it up! Go after your dreams here and hop around until you make that audition!" However, my heart, MY heart says, "You love him. Just embrace love and go after it. Everything else will fall into place.

I guess I am a sucker for love. Call me a hippie, a wimp, a woman who is weak, I don't care. I am following my heart and there is no doubt in my mind that it will all fall into place. Everything aligns in the end. However, in this case I do not see an end. There is no end to the events of life until we die. I am not dead yet and I am still young. 

Embrace change, embrace life, embrace love. Words of wisdom from me. Thanks for listening.