I Am The Right Brained Thinker

*I have been up for months, drinking coffee and trying to make a decision...

I was born with a curse. The curse of the overactive right brained thinker. Sometimes I don't use logic and I just make a decision for no reason other than spontaneity and run with it. On the other hand, once I've made a decision, I then begin to question it and feel nostalgic for the other choice I could have made. Could 'a Would 'a...    So thus begins this cycle of always

 wanting to be where the "action" is. If I make a choice, I wonder what I'll then be missing out on if I had made another choice. ahhhh crazy huh?!

Let me tell you my situation. Please, feel free to comment below. All inquires are welcome, for I am not afraid to just get all of this on the table. Maybe others will relate in some other ways. 

I moved from Chicago to New York 10 months ago in hopes of gaining more experience in the dance world. I have always had dreams of dancing with the BIG companies here and traveling the world with them. Let me back up and say that I had lived in Chicago for 5 years and had moved from my hometown Nashville, that in itself was a strong decision that I had made. Chicago was my home and where I gained my BA in dance at Columbia College. While I was there, I met the love of my life and was in a fabulous dance company. Now that I have been in New York I have worked at Starbucks, explored the dance scene, been to auditions, danced in a show, became certified in Pilates, became poor off my ass, had to quit going to dance classes because I can't afford it, and now I just work as a receptionist at a Pilates Studio on the Upper East Side. Currently, I am sitting at my desk typing this all out. I am trying to "breathe" as my boyfriend is constantly suggesting that I do. Where does one draw the line or throw up their hands and say, "I'm done with this. I must move on!" 

Everyone here says to just give it another year. The first year here is always hell. Yeah, you're tellin' me!! I feel that I have accomplished quite a bit in my full 24 years of life and I don't think I'm one to back out now. Just because I move does NOT mean I am giving up on my ambitions. No, nope. I need to eat and survive and I guess I am not willing to give those things up. 

I too also feel that society looks down on those who fall in love. So what if I want to move back and live with my boyfriend! Yes, I miss him and half the reason why I want to move back is because I want to go through this crazy life with someone who I care about and who cares about me. That is my rant and I'm stickin' to it. 

Ladies and Gentleman... I AM MOVING BACK TO CHICAGO. The city that still has a hold on my heart. The right brained thinker is on the move once again. This time, I must not look back until this wonderful city of New York calls my name again. Hopefully by then I will have more change in my pocket. 

I have learned so much here and made so many friends. All of whom I will never forget or lose contact with. (Don't lose contact with me!!) 

*Taking another sip of the now chilled cup of coffee.