Can one really be this invisible?

Today I have been so irritated at everything. I have been feeling that everyone is taking over what little space I feel that I actually have. My bubble, it is very precious to me. Especially living in a large city where you only get about 12 feet of it anyway and that is called "home".

However, I don't want to complain anymore today. I have done enough of that already. I gotta say though, that it makes me feel better if I can just throw up all my thoughts about how much I dislike people. I would go as far as saying that I hate them. Yeh, but I won't because that is just down right negative. Today I have felt invisible in this world. Besides my mother calling me everyone else has been busy. Its not about craving attention so much as it is me wondering if people have seen me at all today!

Like I mentioned earlier, I only have so much space in this world. When someone does not acknowledge my presence it is quite obvious. Let me explain...

I am babysitting this morning and the baby spits up all over my entire left thigh. "Ok," I think "No big deal. I wore the crappy pants today."

So I begin desperately to wipe off all spit from the baby. Then the mom waltzed into the room. "Oh what happened, Hannah?" She says to the baby's 3 year old sister, without even looking at me. Quickly she reaches for a paper towel and dabbs up the spit from the couch. She then realizes it is on her daughter and baby. Meanwhile, I am scrambling to clean it off of his shirt and my pant leg. Never mind that my ENTIRE leg is drenched. She walks off, turns around, and then says, "Oh, yeah would you like a cloth to clean yourself?"

Later in the day I am crossing the street downtown and the little white man lights up across the street. Pedestrian right away! So I walk across, and a truck suddenly stops 2 inches away from my frozen body. I was stunned and all I could think to do was stare at the idiot behind the wheel. He then began honking and I briskly made it to the sidewalk. I thought about it later and decided I should have shot him a bird, but it was too late. 

After that wonderful incident, I decided to treat myself to a nice lunch since I just got paid. So I went over to the Barking Dog on 3rd and 94th st. I sat at a nice table outside on the porch next to the sidewalk. I took a deep breath in to relax. I ordered a grilled cheese, butternut squash soup and a beer. During my delicious meal two men came out with brooms, paper towels, and window cleaner. They begin shuffling tables around and one stood on top of a chair. He sprayed the window and began to clean. As he sprayed, the cleaner it blows directly at me and onto my amazing butternut squash soup! They inch closer and asked me,  

"can we use the seat at your table to wipe the windows?" I stare in utter amazement as my food becomes covered in windex. Luckily, the manager came out and put a stop to the madness and apologized. I sat and just stared. I did not say anything to those men because I was just so excited at how this day was turning out. I got the check, reluctantly paid, and left.

So I arrive at my final destination of the day and I decide to have a smoke before work. I sit on a little bench beside the 92nd Street Y. Two young men are watering the flowers outside of the building and drag the hoes pipe behind them. Water pours out the pipe and one guy is holding it as he walks over to the flowers about 12 feet away from where I am sitting. As he is holding the hose, he lets the water flow graciously onto the sidewalk. Somehow he does not see me sitting directly in his path. Water begins to pour all over my feet and already damp pants. "Hey watch it!" I yell. He simply looks at me and begins to water the flowers. Later, he comes back around and begins to adjust his belt by taking off his pants as if I am not sitting there. This day is just the best. 

Soaking wet, I walked over to the Pilates Studio. I arrive inside and immediately my boss is asking me to clean things. She never asks me to clean, (during the week anyway). Ok, so I scrub away at the walls, the machines, and the damn bathroom. Can this day get any worse? My poor pants have had it and all I want to do is shower!

So here I am typing away. Nothing has happened since but I still have the train ride home...

Maybe someone will sit on me. Can't wait.