My New Bicycle

I got a bike. Actually, Dan got me a bike. To us it is the only way to get around the city without waiting on the train for two hours at a time. For the past week, I've been riding to work and rehearsals. The cold air hitting my face, and riding along the Lake Shore path has been so refreshing.
Feels good to be back in Chicago. Even though I lived here for almost 5 years before I left for New York, it feels like a different place. Neighborhoods have changed, people have changed, and my routine will never be the same as before. Change is good. In fact, change is amazing. However, for the past 2 weeks since I've been here I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. The change of pace and environment are so much different from New York. It is slower here and more friendly. These things do not bother me though. It is more or less starting over again. I was just beginning to get my feet on the ground in New York. More stable I am now, but as a career move, I feel like I'm starting from ground zero. My boyfriend tells me this is all mental. Yet, how can I feel stable when I move around all the time?
Certainly, I have not stepped back at all by moving here. Yet somehow I feel as if that might happen somehow. I am very happy beginning a new life with Dan and embarking on a Pilates career. However, I feel a shift in my personality. Recently I have had no desire to socialize with anyone around me, at work or with family. My personality even seems different. Something really has to be funny to make me laugh and right now, only Dan tends to do that for me.

Maybe it is the change that has been getting to me. I'm not sure.

I love this city! The winter is approaching fast and I am afraid it will be even harder to leave the apartment.

Dunkin vs. Starbucks- A Quest for Health

Water or Oil? 

I am guilty as charged in wanting to rid the world of corporate businesses and support the smaller ones. However, in my lifetime, I don't think that will occur.

 In the meantime, these businesses are continuing to pop up in neighborhoods across America. I am simply informing you that if you 

choose to venture into them, be aware of what you put into your body. I 

venture to Starbucks, because it is convenient (when I'm not working 

there.) That is why these companies are so successful. The more they place themselves around, the more we go to them.

My time at Starbucks is coming to an end. With one more week remaining at the Corporate conglomerate, I decided to take a look at and inform you of this massive coffee company. Other coffee corporations such as Dunkin Doughnuts 

competing for equal recognition, healthier choice options are available. Here is a look at what to order and what

 to steer clear of.

They now have oatmeal

 Yes, now instead of buying your own box of yummy oats, you can have it on the go. This tasty breakfast includes your choice of nuts, fruit, and brown sugar. Its tasty, except you will think as you eat this, "I could have made this at home."

Protein Latte

Yuck! These lattes are gross! First of all, why would you want more protein in your latte? Its a coffee drink and you're ruining it! The workout maniacs are forever changing the way we drink simple coffee. Let me inform you of how we make these muscle maniac lattes. A protein powder is used and dumped into the milk pitcher with one's choice of milk. Next the milk an

d powder are steamed together. Espresso is added and voila you have yourself a chalky muscle building, wake me up latte. If you don't believe me, you can try one but be warned... I can't see this sticking around too long.

Dunkin' Doughnuts

 First of all, their coffee tastes like water. If you are a serious coffee drinker this co

ffee will taste like water... did I already mention that? This could be attributed to the fact that Starbucks literally turns into oil after it has been fermenting in your cup for 20 minutes. 

What to steer clear of at Dunkin:

-The coffee- Be sure you inform them exactly how much milk and sugar (if any) you want inside your coffee. Otherwise, they dump the entire sugar bag and gallon of milk into the drink.

-Doughnuts- They won't even let you purchase one doughnut hole, one! You have to buy 6 in order to make a purchase. ( I know, because I tried to buy a few.. I mean one.)

-If the Dunkin' is connected to a Baskin' Robbins, just don't even look over there.

What is actually pretty healthy and tasty:

 - The egg white panini. They have a veggie one, that is my fav and a sausage one. It is made entirely of egg white and you get a coffee along with it. In my opinion it can be a little blan, but that cuts down on the calories. 

* Make sure they toast it all the way. Last time I had one, it was still frozen in the middle. 

So why are these two companies suddenly trying to be healthy? It is actually a health requirement to list all calories on food. When a person sees 480 calories on one doughnut, there are not that many sold anymore. I think they've finally realized they are a large factor in obesity in this country. I don't think we can blame these companies for what we choose to eat. We make the choice to throw that apple fritter into our mouths and wash it down with a coffee. Now, we have healthier options. Just keep in mind, however, that you CAN just as easily make the oatmeal at home. 

My Last Days in New York City

I can't believe my journey here is coming to an end. I gotta say that I am both relived and nostalgic. Everything is telling me to go and yet still telling me to stay. "I"ll be back." I say, but will I? Honestly, I think that it's me doubting. Once again I am living in transition. It seems that my life has been nothing but a series of transitions. I am constantly dealing with change and adapting to new surroundings constantly. Yes, I move around every year. Yes, life changes constantly and we must learn to adapt. Hey, I love change. However, I think i am reaching that point in my life where I'm saying, "Hello, um can I be still for once and maybe make a home for myself?" I still want to travel and embrace change with open arms, yet I would like to live in the same apartment for longer than a year. That so wrong?

Since being in New York, I have decided that living here is like being in a messed up relationship. The ups the downs, the love, the hate, the fighting, and the love making. The thoughts of denial that they are not right for you, yet you want them so badly. I don't know if its just that there are so many of us living on one tiny island all cramped on top of one another that bothers me. To me, it is about the frustrations of success ad what defines that here. People say that "If you can make it in NY you can make it anywhere." Well, did those people realize that they are saying, "If you can work your ass off and pay your rent and count your pennies, you will be wealthy anywhere else."  Seriously though, I do believe that to a certain degree that if you achieve goals here, you have reached "the top". However, it is not like reaching enlightenment, if you will. New York is not the only city in the universe offering opportunity. Too many people are here competing for the same roles, jobs, lifestyle, etc...

Ok, I am finished with my ranting. I will miss New York, however, and there is no doubt in my mind that I will be back to visit her. To all of my friends, I will miss you the most!!

I think that is one thing New York has given the most of, friendship. 

THANK GOD FOR FACEBOOK! Sheesh, yeah! There are a few other things about New York that I will miss:

-Upper East Side bitching

-Expensive EVERYTHING

- The street performers (esp the singing saw lady... i need to write about her)

- The hot dog vendors (even though I don't go near them)

- Central Park

- Amazing friends

- All of the shows of course!

- Crazy people in New York 

- The subway

Yeah, just ranting, love ya NY.

What can I say NY?

New York,

What can I say, I'm gunna miss you. Your intimidating height, cramped spaces, expensive taste, congested intersections, and your class will be missed by, me. You have such a history and you inspire so many people. You've even made dreams come true. I think the one thing I will miss the most is your friendship. You embraced me with open arms and were very good to me. Even though I struggled at times to pay my rent, take dance classes, or go to the grocery store, you looked at me and assured me it would be okay somehow. Don't worry now, I'm not leaving you because I do not love you. I just found someone else at the moment. Now there is just no comparison to you, nor will there ever be. I must say, however, that my new love/old love is well.. cleaner, easier to live with, and a little nicer. I am not cutting you down by any means. You are unique and have so much to offer. I'm sure someone just as wonderful as me will come along and you will forget all about me. Don't worry though, I'll come back and visit. Who knows, if things don't work out I know where to find you. We still have 4 weeks left. Let's just make the most of our time together .  Wanna go shopping? 

All my love,

me.

Things are a changin'

I think there comes a point in one's life where you wake up and realize that everything you've work so hard for all of your life, is no longer as important as you thought it was. Decisions and goals change. Life brings moments and people into your life that you'd rather spend your energy on. This does not mean that you cannot still persue goals and dreams. It's just that they change. 

Personally, I am such an advocate for change. Growing up I would rearrange my room because I needed a change. I would move my bed across the room to face a different direction and sometimes I would repaint the walls. If I was feeling really belligerent, I would persuade my sister that she wanted my room and we would switch rooms. One time I even convinced my parents to switch rooms with me, yes it worked! So, I need change in my life and I embrace it with open arms. I even need to change my hair every 3, 4 months. (It's time now, yes.) I know that a change is needed when I look at my hair and say, "This needs to go!"

Today I had an opportunity to go to an audition. This company is huge in modern dance and I know the company well. I taught Pilates for their summer intensive, learned choreography, and graveled at their feet (well sort of). My predicament arose, however, with the "what if" factor. What if I made the audition and was asked to dance in the company? Of course I would do it! Yes, yes, yes! However, I have been making plans to move, signed an apartment lease, and got into another dance company in Chicago. What if I made it? Then all of those plans would fly out the window and I'd travel the world (not so bad I know). However, my other "What if" was, I am in love with a man in Chicago. If I got the audition, that would mean another year without him. I could not do that. I made the choice to move in with my boyfriend in Chicago, begin a life, and explore it together. Together! What is wrong with that? My third wave feminist mind says, "Don't move for a guy. Don't commit right now. Be strong and suck it up! Go after your dreams here and hop around until you make that audition!" However, my heart, MY heart says, "You love him. Just embrace love and go after it. Everything else will fall into place.

I guess I am a sucker for love. Call me a hippie, a wimp, a woman who is weak, I don't care. I am following my heart and there is no doubt in my mind that it will all fall into place. Everything aligns in the end. However, in this case I do not see an end. There is no end to the events of life until we die. I am not dead yet and I am still young. 

Embrace change, embrace life, embrace love. Words of wisdom from me. Thanks for listening. 

Do you know the Muffin Man?

A fellow barista and friend of mine at Starbucks, encountered the Muffin Man yesterday. When I say Muffin Man, I don't mean a nice jolly old man who sells muffins or a large muffin walking the streets just giving them away. This Muffin Man is unnerving and lives in New York City. I cannot legitimize the actions of my fellow barista, I can only tell the story...

Let me set the scene: The day was moving fairly slow inside the cafe and not many customers were wanting caffeine at 5 Pm. Outside the cafe, however, it was bustling with cars and people were  walking home from work on busy Broadway. 

One barista says to another, "I guess these muffins should go into the pastry case?"

Another barista glances at the box of fresh oat bran muffins and replies, "I have a better idea."

Barista one is curious. 

Barista two says, "I dare you to throw a muffin outside."

Barista one is still curious. He does not question, does not glance around, only opens the box of muffins to retrieve one, and walks towards the door. 

Barista two smiles mischieviously and watches barista one walk out to the street.

With hat and apron still displaying 'Starbucks', he chucks the bran muffin into the air. 

*Now, if this were a movie it would be flying through the air in slow motion

Finally, the muffin surrenders to gravity and falls towards the crowd of people below. The muffin chooses its destination onto.... a toe. The muffin exploded below on the Muffin Man's right toe. This Muffin Man stood about 5'11, with receding hair the color of, well oat bran! Silver wire frames held the glasses on his crooked nose, and his raspy voice could be compared to the male version of Joan Rivers. 

In his Joan Rivers voice, he howled, "I WAS JUST HIT WITH A MUFFIN!"

Meanwhile, my friend barista ran like a 12 year old child to the back of the store to hide from the screaming Muffin Man.

No one knew what to think. This man was obviously distressed about a bran muffin coming in contact with his precious toe. (This is also a great time to mention that his toe was covered by a shoe of some sort.)

Anyway, Muffin Man was not happy. Suddenly, in the midst of his screaming fit, he eyed the box of bran muffins and noticed the vacant spot where the fourth muffin once lived. 

"I KNOW IT WAS A BRAN MUFFIN!" He shouted. The store manager came over to the man and tried to console him, by offering free drinks, coupons, coffee mugs, bags of coffee, baristas, etc...

The next day, the store was busy and there were lines of people out the door. Then, the Muffin Man walked through the cafe doors and demanded to see the manager again. I only heard bits of valuable information and went in search of my barista friend. He was steaming milk at the espresso bar. I warned him that the Muffin Man was inside the cafe and to not look over at him. He ducked behind the bar, his eyes wide with fear. 

My manager asked the Muffin Man if he could further get him anything and again apologized for the "inconvenience".

The Muffin Man rubbed his bald head and looked around the cafe in search of barista. His raspy voice dripped from his mouth as he said, "Well, I would love to string that guy up and beat him with muffins!" 

The store manager bit his tongue, to contain laughter and just stared at the Muffin Man.

"Obviously I have no muffins to do this, so I would just like a coupon." Then he left the store with a free coffee in hand. 

The moral of this story: Next time you decide to throw a muffin, take off your hat and apron and throw it away from the Muffin Man.

Can one really be this invisible?

Today I have been so irritated at everything. I have been feeling that everyone is taking over what little space I feel that I actually have. My bubble, it is very precious to me. Especially living in a large city where you only get about 12 feet of it anyway and that is called "home".

However, I don't want to complain anymore today. I have done enough of that already. I gotta say though, that it makes me feel better if I can just throw up all my thoughts about how much I dislike people. I would go as far as saying that I hate them. Yeh, but I won't because that is just down right negative. Today I have felt invisible in this world. Besides my mother calling me everyone else has been busy. Its not about craving attention so much as it is me wondering if people have seen me at all today!

Like I mentioned earlier, I only have so much space in this world. When someone does not acknowledge my presence it is quite obvious. Let me explain...

I am babysitting this morning and the baby spits up all over my entire left thigh. "Ok," I think "No big deal. I wore the crappy pants today."

So I begin desperately to wipe off all spit from the baby. Then the mom waltzed into the room. "Oh what happened, Hannah?" She says to the baby's 3 year old sister, without even looking at me. Quickly she reaches for a paper towel and dabbs up the spit from the couch. She then realizes it is on her daughter and baby. Meanwhile, I am scrambling to clean it off of his shirt and my pant leg. Never mind that my ENTIRE leg is drenched. She walks off, turns around, and then says, "Oh, yeah would you like a cloth to clean yourself?"

Later in the day I am crossing the street downtown and the little white man lights up across the street. Pedestrian right away! So I walk across, and a truck suddenly stops 2 inches away from my frozen body. I was stunned and all I could think to do was stare at the idiot behind the wheel. He then began honking and I briskly made it to the sidewalk. I thought about it later and decided I should have shot him a bird, but it was too late. 

After that wonderful incident, I decided to treat myself to a nice lunch since I just got paid. So I went over to the Barking Dog on 3rd and 94th st. I sat at a nice table outside on the porch next to the sidewalk. I took a deep breath in to relax. I ordered a grilled cheese, butternut squash soup and a beer. During my delicious meal two men came out with brooms, paper towels, and window cleaner. They begin shuffling tables around and one stood on top of a chair. He sprayed the window and began to clean. As he sprayed, the cleaner it blows directly at me and onto my amazing butternut squash soup! They inch closer and asked me,  

"can we use the seat at your table to wipe the windows?" I stare in utter amazement as my food becomes covered in windex. Luckily, the manager came out and put a stop to the madness and apologized. I sat and just stared. I did not say anything to those men because I was just so excited at how this day was turning out. I got the check, reluctantly paid, and left.

So I arrive at my final destination of the day and I decide to have a smoke before work. I sit on a little bench beside the 92nd Street Y. Two young men are watering the flowers outside of the building and drag the hoes pipe behind them. Water pours out the pipe and one guy is holding it as he walks over to the flowers about 12 feet away from where I am sitting. As he is holding the hose, he lets the water flow graciously onto the sidewalk. Somehow he does not see me sitting directly in his path. Water begins to pour all over my feet and already damp pants. "Hey watch it!" I yell. He simply looks at me and begins to water the flowers. Later, he comes back around and begins to adjust his belt by taking off his pants as if I am not sitting there. This day is just the best. 

Soaking wet, I walked over to the Pilates Studio. I arrive inside and immediately my boss is asking me to clean things. She never asks me to clean, (during the week anyway). Ok, so I scrub away at the walls, the machines, and the damn bathroom. Can this day get any worse? My poor pants have had it and all I want to do is shower!

So here I am typing away. Nothing has happened since but I still have the train ride home...

Maybe someone will sit on me. Can't wait.